Life has a way of answering questions you didn’t even ask. When we internalize these answers, we give them a polished new name, “Wisdom”.
This year is the year of my 20th High School reunion. The past 20 years have seemed to just fly by with no regard to its speed or its passengers. I’ve learned so much… about life, about people, and about myself.
I was recently asked what “wisdom” I would share with the teen version of myself. After deciding between being clinical, motivational, observational, or blunt, I went with a combination of all… I went with the TRUTH as I see it.
So, here are my notes and observations; from the 38 year old me to the 18 year old me. I hope the advice I would give myself can be useful to you or your children as well.
To my younger self…
1. Be the type of friend you would like to have.
2. Most people will talk the talk, few will walk the walk; be amongst those few.
3. The people who claim to be the most spiritual are usually the least so.
4. Get rich quick schemes are for the lazy and unambitious. Respect your dreams enough to pay the full price for them.
5. Pay attention to the behavior of the most successful people.
6. Write down five character traits you admire most in your personal heroes. You now have a list of traits to emulate in your own life.
7. Statistics lie. They are designed to sway opinions. Take the time to keep yourself informed on things that matter.
8. Be the type of man a wife would cherish and a child would admire.
9. Don’t lie. Life is a puzzle and we are all unique pieces. When you lie, you make it impossible to find your true place in the grand design.
10. Be more than a father, be a dad. Be more than a figure, be an example.
11. When you make a mistake, give an apology without an excuse attached to it. The longer an apology, the less authentic it is.
12. Pray. Not just with your words, but with your actions.
13. Most people have an abundance of dreams, but lack the courage to follow them. Help them find that courage by inspiring them with yours.
14. Sports Jerseys: To wear another man’s name on your back is a subconscious slap in the face to who you are. Don’t fantasize about being someone else. Put in the work required to rise to the level of your greatest self.
15. Set a high standard on how you treat women. Whether they appreciate it or not, don’t lower your own standards of behavior.
16. Let your handshake be a greater bond than any written contract.
17. Learn to say “please” and “thank you” in multiple languages.
18. There are some people who will never see you as being good enough. That is their short-coming not yours. Be merciful enough to yourself to cut them out of your life.
19. Don’t let your idea of God be limited to the imagination of others. Don’t let them define your God and don’t let them tell you how to express your faith.
20. Being healthy is a way of life. It’s not just about what you feed your body; it’s about what you feed your mind and the social environment you keep. Make healthy food choices, exercise your body and brain, and choose your friends wisely.
21. Express your emotions in a multidimensional manner. Don’t just speak; act! Don’t just say; show!
22. Help people help themselves. Don’t judge, just help. In this process, be cautious to simply point them in the right direction and help them get moving. Don’t make your journey theirs, nor make their journey yours.
23. Stay away from people who gossip and spread rumors. They are choosing the path of emotional bullying and negativity.
24. Keep a gratitude list.
25. Appreciate your mom. She is wiser than you think and stronger than you know. Be thankful.
* Dr. Steve Maraboli is a Keynote Speaker, Bestselling Author, and Behavioral Science Academic. He has delivered his life-changing speeches in over 30 countries and his words have been share and published throughout the world in more than 25 languages.